The Grass Is Greener On the Other side
…Or Is It?
The Grass Is Greener?
Most of us never say “the grass is greener on the other side” out loud.
We just feel it.
If we had their money.
If we had her body.
If we had his confidence.
If we lived over there.
Underneath it all is one big nagging thought:
“If we just had what they have, we’d finally be okay.”
We rarely say it that clearly, but it hums under the surface of a lot of our decisions, our scrolling, and our late-night thoughts.
What This Saying Is Really About
“The grass is greener on the other side” is basically a compact definition of envy. It is the assumption that someone else’s life must be better than ours, because we’re far enough away that we can’t see the full picture.
We also talked about a Chinese phrase that hits the same nerve:
“The grapes you can’t reach are sour.”
How it’s the same:
Both sayings expose the same human reflex, valuing what we don’t have and dismissing what we already do have.
How it’s different:
“The grass is greener” emphasizes longing and comparison.
“The grapes are sour” emphasizes self-protection. If we can’t reach them, we convince ourselves they weren’t worth wanting anyway. It hurts less to say, “Those grapes are bad” than to say, “We wanted them and couldn’t get them.”
Both reveal the same ache underneath.
How It Shows Up Today
The greener-grass mindset doesn’t just show up in our big life choices. It sneaks into ordinary moments.
we scrol
we compare
we feel behind
Social media accelerates this. Not because it’s automatically toxic, but because it puts everyone’s best angles in front of us all day long.
If we’re not careful, someone else’s highlight reel becomes our daily standard… which is an impossible metric.
We start to feel like we’re failing at a life that was never ours to live.
The Money Myth
A lot of greener-grass thinking attaches itself to money:
“If we just had enough money, our problems would finally be simple.”
Money absolutely solves some problems. It relieves pressure. It pays bills. It creates breathing room. That matters.
But money also:
raises expectations
complicates relationships
exposes insecurities instead of fixing them
creates fear of loss
increases isolation if we’re not grounded
It doesn’t erase suffering. It just changes the shape of it.
That’s why the quote often attributed to Mike Tyson rings true:
If you think money will solve all your problems, you’ve never had real money.
And Joe’s mentor used to say:
“May all your problems be financial.”
Not because financial problems are easy. They aren’t. But because some problems can’t be paid away. Problems like illness, betrayal, grief, purpose, or identity.
So What Do We Do With
Envy and Comparison?
Here’s the question we have to ask ourselves:
What is our standard?
If our standard is set by our social media feeds, our neighbors, or our family’s unspoken expectations, we end up living our lives as one long audition for a role we were never meant to play.
Picture an elephant, a dog, a monkey, a squirrel, and a fish in a bowl. The challenge?
“Who can climb that tree the fastest?”
The fish loses automatically, not because it lacks discipline or character, but because it was never designed for that test.
Put the fish in water, and everything changes.
That’s the trap of comparison.
We start calling ourselves “behind” when really, we’re just in the wrong contest.
So instead of asking, what do they have that we don’t? How do we get over there? Or, why is their life greener?
We’ve been learning to ask:
What have we already been given,
and what would it look like to tend that well?
Because here’s the deeper truth:
The grass isn’t greener over there.
The grass is greener where we water it.
Not by pretending what we have is perfect.
But by tending to what is actually ours:
our relationships
our health
our gifts
our limits
our timing
our real season of life
A Practice That Changes Everything
When we talk about gratitude, we don’t mean “fake happy” or “just be thankful because other people have it worse.” That isn’t gratitude. That’s denial with a smiley face sticker.
Real gratitude is about attention.
It’s noticing what’s already here instead of only staring at what isn’t. It’s saying, “Yes, I still want things to change… and also, there is good here right now.”
Envy keeps your focus locked on what’s missing.
Gratitude gently shifts your focus to what’s present.
We dare you to Google the research on gratitude and happiness. You’ll find study after study linking gratitude to better sleep, lower anxiety, stronger relationships, more resilience, and higher overall well-being. You’ll quickly realize this isn’t just a nice quote for a coffee mug.
Gratitude literally rewires how your brain pays attention.
So here’s the simple practice we’re encouraging you to choose with us:
For one week, write down three to five things you’re grateful for each day.
Not vague things. Specific, ordinary, real things.
Write them down. Say them out loud if you can.
You may be surprised by how the “grass” on your side of the fence starts looking different… not because it changed overnight, but because you finally noticed and took care of it.
Think About It
Prompts for journaling, reflection, or a quiet moment alone.
Where do you feel comparison showing up most in your life right now? Work, friendships, body image, money, parenting, relationships?
What “standard” have you been measuring yourself against that you never actually chose?
When you feel envy, what emotion sits underneath it?
What do you already have that you can renew your appreciation for?
What would “watering your own grass” look like for you this week?
Talk About It
Questions for a walk, a shared meal, or a voice note with someone you trust.
Where do you catch yourself saying, “If I just had _______, things would finally be okay”?
Who do you compare yourself to the most, and what do you think that comparison is really about?
Who in your life helps you appreciate what you already have instead of constantly chasing more?
Affirmation
From us: You are not meant to become someone else for your life to be meaningful.
Repeat with us: I can appreciate and tend to the life I have instead of chasing the one I don’t.
Want to Go Deeper?
We explore this conversation more in our episode “The Grass Is Always Greener–Or Is It?”
We’d also love your help:
Do you know an Arabic version of this saying? Let us know HERE.
You can watch on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.
